Anonymous
Friday night was card and
beer night. He drank himself into
a stupor. He would come home
a monster. The beating and
punches began until he became
exhausted. While I was
smashed into the walls or space I
did not make a muffled sound.
I ate my pain.
Fear dominated deep into my
spiritual soul.
Saturday and sunday he
would transform into a coward
mouse. His behavior was
satisfactory. The mouse made
promises to atone his ways. He
would indulge and humor us with
clothes and toys until the next
friday night ritual would occur.
I dealt with my problem
secretly. It was not real. If I
acknowledged the problem,I
would have to admit, recognize
and defend my marriage. In my
thinking this was not acceptable.
In time my worthy feelings
toward the monster dissipated,
never to return.
When reality set in, I had
to make a choice for change. The
changes I starved for would take
great effort to achieve. I did not
have control of my environment
or my safety. I desired a better
life. This process was going to
be a long exhausting path. I
enrolled at the high school in
town which offered college
classes. Three classes, nine
credits, I was on my way.
Study time was difficult
with high tension at the kitchen
table. The monster lurked
around, ready to pounce trying
to obscure my thinking. The
behavior caused great physical
and mental pain. Severe
sadness took over my body
and with regret I chose defeat.
In time the marriage ended.
Three years later I enrolled in
school. Five years later I received
my diploma in Business. Six
years later I married a magnificent
man. Life is great with love,
respect and kindness.
My world turned on its axis
in my favor.